An Open Letter to the US Postal Service

Dear USPS:

Can you please get your act together. A vendor shipped me a gift for my niece on August 21. To date it has crisscrossed the country no less than 5 times. Why it even made it out of Massachusetts is beyond me really-- both the vendor and my niece live in the Bay state. I live in Los Angeles, maybe you knew this? Are you occasionally intuitive? No, can't be because NOBODY involved lives in Nashua, NH (though I've visited several times and well it's a nice little town). I called to tell you that I could help you, but you hung up on me. :-(

I tried again, only to hear that you do not have access to information about my package and it's only provided to me as a courtesy, yet I did nothing to identify myself as the recipient other than entering the tracking number into the search field on your site. Go ahead, you try it, it's super easy. You too can pull the same info as me. I tried to explain this to you and even encouraged you to jump on the information super highway yourself to give it a whirl but you again hung up on me. Do you have an iphone 3g? Is that why our calls keep getting disconnected?

Long story short USPS, I would just like my niece to get her present before she goes to college. It's fair warning, she's only 1 now. I'm even willing to have you ship it back to the vendor (the vendor and i discussed this at length and she's TOTALLY cool about it). Heck, send it to me. I could probably hand deliver it faster. Or even, FEDEX it for guaranteed delivery. I mean, geez, with the cost of fuel and the airlines charging baggage (that's right airlines, stick it to us, we can fit everything into those damn terror-proof ziplock bags now anyway), I'm concerned you may be blowing your budget with all this volleying the country with my niece's present. In short USPS, I really just want to see the bright glowing 4 toothed smile of my 1 year old niece

For your convenience, I've pasted the details of this package's journey below.

Thanks and best,
Paula Gould
Consumer, Publicist, Aunty.

Ps. I think it goes without saying the shipping costs are on you. We could pretend it was the lottery and you could hand me a huge check for $5.95. But I may just be content on getting the damn package.

Label/Receipt Number: 9101 ... 4238 76
Detailed Results:
Bullet Processed, September 17, 2008, 4:45 pm, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, September 15, 2008, 4:49 pm, NASHUA, NH 03062
Bullet Processed, September 14, 2008, 1:58 am, BOSTON, MA 02205
Bullet Processed, September 12, 2008, 6:54 pm, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, September 10, 2008, 6:40 pm, NASHUA, NH 03062
Bullet Processed, September 10, 2008, 2:27 am, BOSTON, MA 02205
Bullet Processed, September 07, 2008, 11:54 pm, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, September 06, 2008, 2:14 am, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, September 05, 2008, 6:37 pm, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, September 03, 2008, 6:26 pm, NASHUA, NH 03062
Bullet Processed, September 03, 2008, 2:12 am, BOSTON, MA 02205
Bullet Processed, September 02, 2008, 5:11 pm, NASHUA, NH 03063
Bullet Processed, August 31, 2008, 9:13 pm, NASHUA, NH 03062
Bullet Processed, August 29, 2008, 7:59 pm, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, August 27, 2008, 6:33 pm, NASHUA, NH 03062
Bullet Processed, August 27, 2008, 1:01 am, BOSTON, MA 02205
Bullet Processed, August 25, 2008, 8:08 pm, LOS ANGELES, CA 90052
Bullet Processed, August 23, 2008, 9:07 pm, BOSTON, MA 02205
Bullet Electronic Shipping Info Received, August 21, 2008